Diggin' Your Scene
by deliciousbacon
Summary: A funfun Sirius+Fleur songfic featuring Smash Mouth! Contains exerpts from Chained Dove's Sunlight and Shadow! Rating for violence, mild swearing, and sexual references, but it's not all that bad. The song is funny as HFIL.


Kuroi: Believe it or not, folks, this one came to me out of nowhere. Just sitting there in English class, listening to Smash Mouth, minding my own business, when suddenly I thought: _Hey, this song fits Sirius+Fleur near-perfectly._ Besides, I needed to write a S+F fanfic for Chained Dove, cuz I is a proud S+F-shipper…Here ya go, Dove!! =^.^= BTW, the parts in italics are exerpts from Dove's fanfic, Sunlight and Shadow. And the song parts are in Sirius' point of view, just so you know. (If you're confused, you really should read Dove's HP stories to get a better idea of what's going on.)

Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, all the characters would be nekojin(cat people). If I owned Sunlight and Shadow, it wouldn't be nearly as popular.

Diggin' Your Scene

a songfic featuring Sirius and Fleur

Song: "Diggin' Your Scene" by Smash Mouth

__

Fleur looked him up and down with mild interest. He didn't look insane... she didn' think. The entire room was silent, everyone waiting for someone else to make the first move. Remus looked slightly worried. Fleur had a feeling that he thought everyone had half a mind to leave the room with screams of terror right that moment. Anything would be better than the silence. Seeing the scowl from Snape, she put on her most charming smile, stood, and proffered her hand gracefully. Harry looked relieved, and the smile lost some of its tenseness around the edges. "Meester Black," she said, "I 'ave been looking forward to meeting you."… _Fleur found, to her slight discomfort and pointed distaste, that she was sitting next to Black, who had so obviously stepped around getting to know her. Dumbledore began to speak, and Fleur, using a technique that had gotten her top marks in school, used half of her mind to store away the information that was being given out and let the other half focus on other matters. She turned her head a fraction of an inch towards Black. "So, is zere some reason you dislike me as intensely as zat piece of unwashed trash?" she enquired. "I 'ave seen you are not entirely rude to everyone you meet. To what do I owe zees fine pleasure of being treated on a level wis Snape? Or do you, per'aps not like, 'ow do you say, 'alf breeds? Eef I am so distasteful, I 'ave nosing to apologize for. I wanted to like you for 'Arry's sake, but it appears you are going to make zees difficult." She thrived on difficulties._

Sirius arched an eyebrow at her and replied quietly, "I have nothing against halfbreeds; however, when anybody, halfbreed or not, tries to convince my godson that I must be either evil or insane, even after he and the Headmaster have said otherwise, I tend to be less accepting."

Fleur sighed in exasperation, doing her best to keep the surprise out of her face and voice. How on earth had he known? "Old 'abits die 'ard," she responded equally softly, still apparently watching Dumbledore. "It is difficult to change one's mindset all in one day." She began to take notes then, concentrating less on Sirius and more on the headmaster. If he didn't want to make an effort, she certainly wouldn't either. "I was prepared to try and change my mind," she said mildy, scribbling down something about safety precautions on her parchment with her long and fluffy white quill. "I appear to 'ave been mistaken. You are not insane, and you are not a murderer... but you are very rude." Pointedly she turned all of her attention on Dumbledore. He didn't like her? Well, the feeling was certainly mutual…

Tell me why we're all gluttons for pain

The girl is totally insane

She doesn't know the meaning of 'tame'

Still, I can't put out the flame

Hey, hey, I wanna play on the team that you despise

Every day a new disguise

Every night a Halloween

She says, 'Keep the motor running, man'

Like I was some machine

__

Fleur cleared her throat, and immediately there was silence. "Sirius Black?" she asked. "Zee Sirius Black? Dumbly-dorr, you can not be serious! Even if 'e is innocent, why, twelve years in Azkaban could drive ze most innocent man mad!" She looked around the table. A werewolf she could handle, teacher rivalry was nothing new, but a convict? "I was not informed by ze French Ministry of Magic of zees," she finished, her voice soft but steely, her eyes never leaving Dumbledore's. He in turn looked perfectly calm, running his fingers through the fur of his large black dog. Currently the dog's hackles were up, and it was glaring bloody murder at Fleur. "I 'ave come to 'elp because I disagreed with the way the British Ministry is 'andling sings... and because I wanted to see 'Arry grow up, protect him some'ow." She had promised Gabrielle she would try, and that was a promise she would not take lightly. "But a man 'oo 'as spent twelve years in Azkaban? Are you so sure, Dumbly-dorr, zat 'e knows what 'e is doing anymore?"

"Young lady, that is the first intelligent thing I've heard all day," Snape drawled coldly with a pointed look at, of all things, the black dog, who was glaring at him as poisonously as it had been at her.

It was not Dumbledore who answered her, but Harry, his voice very quiet and with a note of steel that had only really developed over the summer. "Fleur, I've met Sirius on several occasions. Not only is he perfectly sane, he's extremely intelligent. He's also rather funny, and has quite a firm grasp on reality. He is also my godfather, and I trust him with my life."

"Oh, how touching," Snape sneered, looking disgusted. "What is it with you Potters having a blind spot for the-"

"With all due respect, Professor Snape, you have absolutely no credibility on the subject of my father, my godfather, or myself. Whatever you think Sirius might have done, he is not, nor has he ever been a Death Eater." Harry spared one brief, pointed look at his teacher's left arm, and then turned back to Fleur and said, "Whether you believe it or not, Fleur, Sirius is innocent, he's perfectly sane, and your approval is a moot point because I not only trust him, I love him, and nothing you or anybody else says, does, or chooses to believe will ever change that." At that, the black dog stood up and walked over to Harry, who scratched it behind the ears, laughing softly as it licked his cheek.

Fleur sighed. She might agree with Harry on the point of Sirius Black just to disagree with the decidedly unpleasant dark-haired man with a sneer on his face. He kept sending looks her way, lewd looks she found completely unpleasant. She wanted a shower. What did he have against the poor dog, anyway? He looked as though he wanted to kick it! And did he ever wash his hair? "If you say so, 'Arry," she said, her voice softened, "I will try to co-operate to ze best of my limited ability. I owe you ze life of ze one 'oo is most precious to me. I will repay it wis my own…"

You can talk, talk, but I'm keeping her stock

I wouldn't even change a thing

__

"Aw, does Potty's mommy hate me? I'm crushed!"

Sirius glared up at Peeves, who had apparently followed him up. "Get out of here."

Peeves grinned his trademark wicked grin and turned a somersault in the air. "Not so fast! After all, ignoring mistletoe is bad manners." He waved the offending plant at them for emphasis.

"No one will know I ignored it if I kill you."

"I'm already dead."

"Technicalities."

Fleur sighed as Peeves began singing loudly, some sort of Irish pub song with very bad words. "Oh, 'e gives me an 'eadache," she sighed. "Just do what 'e says and maybe 'e'll leave me in peace."

"But…"

"Oh 'onestly, 'oo cares? I want to go take a shower, to wash ze sought of zat slimeball touching me out of my system." She shrugged. "A little kiss never 'urt anybody."

Peeves, sensing victory was close, stopped singing and returned to watch the scene unfold. He was considerately quiet as Sirius placed his hands gently on her shoulders and Fleur dutifully closed her eyes, doing her best to ignore the fact that her heart was pounding again. Then her head whipped around at the sudden sound footsteps, Sirius got a mouthful of hair…

Why fight? You've got me roped and tied

I hit your baited line

I'm so diggin' your scene

I said, you're playing with my head

I could split instead

I'm so diggin' your scene

__

At that precise moment, there was a loud rumble and their fortress came tumbling down around them. After a few moments of confusion, Fleur finally gathered her bearings and she realized that she would probably have ended up buried, like the Weasley twins, if it wasn't for… her heart gave an errant skip, she called it traitor, and returned to her immediate problem. "Would you please get off me?"

Sirius smirked at her from her cousin's face. "So, the bunny woman asks for mercy at last…" She made a face at him, more than aware of her temporary attributes. "Perhaps I should call you Carotte? It would only serve you right."

She kicked at him, missed, and ended up getting her legs pinned for her trouble. "Come on, let me go… Sirius. Please?"

He grinned down at her. "Now you use my name… shouldn't you be grateful? I just saved you from a horrible snowy fate!"

"By landing on top of me? Zat was probably a spur of ze moment idea because you knew it was your only chance to not be kicked!" She tried to lighten the situation. "You men, you are all alike!"

His face grew serious, and his eyes, the same shade of misty blue as always, (she had always loved Michel's eyes) grew serious. "No, that was just an added benefit, actually…"

On you like a hungry tick

Like a junkie knows they oughtta kick

But I don't wanna be dope sick

So I scramble for a fix

__

Her traitor of a heart began hammering against her ribs wildly, her eyes closed of their own accord, and suddenly she saw the light from behind her lids. Her eyes snapped open to see that Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Gabrielle were unearthing them. "The fight's over," Harry said with a grin. "You forfeit because you didn't get out of there in time."

"Nice hair, Professor Delacour," Ron said with a laugh. "My brothers did that to Ginny once… she floored them; I've never seen the like."

"If it doesn't fade by evening, zey will sink zat Ginny was gentle." Fleur stood, brushing snow off of herself and blushing furiously. What exactly had just happened there?

"Michel? Why are you looking at Fleur like that?"

Fleur couldn't help but cough. She did not want to know exactly how he had been looking at her to prompt such a question from her perceptive little sister. "I'm going inside," she managed weakly, running off in the direction of the castle doors. A pair of misty blue eyes followed her going…

She knew Peter would be there. He would not be able to resist, and she knew that too. So she sat in the shadowy corner of the small Irish pub, throwing challenging glares at the men who were looking her over as though she were a gourmet meal and they hadn't eaten in weeks. She regarded the outfit she had chosen with obvious disdain. A leather skirt so short it was nearly nonexistent, a top that was cut too low and a screaming siren red. Boots of the same red to her knees, and a chain of glimmering rhinestones around her waist. She looked like a cheap girl. But he... well, he didn't appear the kind to be particularly impressed with subtleties, and she could not afford to fail.

She could see the second he walked in that she had been right. His eyes fastened on her and he walked over slowly, looking as though he felt he would wake any moment. His eyes did not leave her for the rest of the night.

She forced herself to smile and patted the booth next to her, sliding in a miniscule amount, just enough to leave him room. She hated the thought that she would have to behave civilized around him for a few hours, when she very much wanted to take his remaining arm and break it. If Sirius wanted the honor, he would just have to mend it and break it again, because she wasn't relinquishing her vengeance. "You came," she said, her voice dropping half an octave to become silky, caressing, and low. "I didn't sink you would, Peter." She shuddered inwardly at the hungry look in his eyes…

Voodoo and sorcery too

I can't shake your freaky spell

Why fight? You've got me roped and tied

I hit your baited line

I'm so diggin' your scene

I said, you're playing with my head

I could split instead

I'm so diggin' your scene

__

"Sirius... let me in..." She smiled despite herself. "I 'ave ze most delightful gift for you..." And she had even kept herself from breaking her gift's arm.

Sirius had not, in fact, been asleep, despite the late hour. Ever since Azkaban he slept very little, usually two to three hours at a time before the nightmares awoke him. So when he heard the knock, he stood, thinking it was Remus, who often had nightmares of his own, nightmares about the wolf. When he heard Fleur's voice, he stopped, startled. At her words about having a gift for him he felt the blood rush from his head to... well, other places. "Fleur," he said softly, and crossed the room to the door, not caring that he wasn't wearing a shirt. "I knew it. I knew you felt the same way," he started, opening the door. "I knew...." He trailed off, stunned, and gaped at Fleur, who was standing in the hallway, dressed like a Muggle streetwalker, smelling of sex, slightly rumpled in very interesting places and accompanied by...

"Wormtail!"

Fleur cocked an eyebrow at Sirius' shirtless state. She felt the urge to blush, so she did what she always did when she felt uncomfortable-made a joke. "Well, unless zere is somesing about you you are not telling me, I gazer Remus is not 'ere?" She was a little surprised at the look on his face, then remembered she was still wearing... "Merde," she looked down. "I look like I sell myself on ze corner at 'Ogsmeade. Nevair mind. Let me in before someone else sees me like zis."

"Wormtail," he repeated dumbly.

She looked at him with curiosity. "Yes, 'e is ze one you wanted, non? I promised you I would catch 'im, non? What else would I be doing 'ere in ze middle of ze night looking like zis?" Sirius appeared on the brink of saying something, his eyes a little glazed. Fleur sighed as she remembered the perfume. "Merde, je suis idiotte. I am still wearing ze perfume... don't say anysing, you'll regret it in ze morning. Can I come in already? I sink ze sight of me dressed like a woman of light behavior on your doorstep wis Wormtail in tow may look just a bit suspicious." She stepped around him, seeing he wasn't going to move, left Wormtail hanging in the middle of the room, and headed for the door on the left side. "I need to use your basroom to wash zis ridiculous stuff off. Don't kill 'im wisout me."

Sirius turned around, grabbed her by the arm and pulled her against him. "You look like Aphrodite," he said in a voice made rough by lust, "descended from Mount Olympus, oozing sex, ready to make male hearts shatter like cheap pottery with a smile, a wink, or even just by walking past. You look like heaven, like home, the kind of woman a man wants at his side when he's sick and in his bed when he's not. You're the epitome of desire, the quintessence of passion, everything that a woman should be. You radiate power and beauty from every pore, every orifice. Your hair, your skin, your eyes... you're perfect in every single way. You are beauty personified, and I can assure you that Hogsmeade has never seen your equal."

Fleur's breath caught as she looked up in his eyes. Fighting attraction since Christmas week, telling herself she was acting like a silly schoolgirl with a crush, and suddenly, what she wanted was right before her grasp. If she had lesser morals, she would be sorely tempted to give in. Even with morals…

So easy... it would be so easy... and he'd hate her the next day. "Sirius," she breathed, unable to use the honorific "mister" if her life depended on it. "You have to... to..." her thoughts were getting muddled. She cursed the perfume, because he would never act this way if it weren't for it. If she had more control over herself, she would just push him away and run off to her room to nurse her wounded feelings. She was too young... and he was... he was just... too perfect. He was too perfect, and she was a child to him, and in the morning she would be back to being his somewhat annoying younger sister figure who hit him on the head with her wand when she was upset. And even so, she still had tonight...

"Have to what?" he said softly, and when she didn't answer, because she didn't know what to say, he leaned in as if to kiss her. Remembering her lipstick just in time she cursed it, because she had been just about to give in, but he'd be a helpless puppet under her control if she kissed him. His lips ended up brushing her hair once more, a ridiculous mockery of Christmas night, and she bit her lip hard to hold back a moan. Damn, why was life always so difficult?

"Fleur..."

"Let me go," she said softly, her heart dying a little with every word she said. "Please. Wormtail... 'e is still 'ere... and you would 'ate me if I took advantage of you like zis." She wrenched herself out of his grasp and ran into the bathroom, already missing the feeling of his warm breath on her face, the tears not falling until the door was locked behind her, and she could cry freely…

"Yes, thank you, Fleur," Remus said. "I assume that's why the room smells of musk? You were trying to lure him in?"

"Is that why your lipstick's smudged?" Sirius demanded sharply. "You don't mind kissing him, but I don't measure up to your personal expectations?"

Fleur's head snapped around to Sirius, ignoring the shocked look on Harry's face and the speculatively raised eyebrow on Remus'. "Eet was for ze spell, you numbskull. Of course I affected you... I would 'ave affected any male between ze ages of five and an 'undred!" She glared, pulled the lipstick out of her purse, and shoved it at him. "It 'as a veela spell on it. Anyone I kissed while wearing zis would fall immediately under my spell. So yes, damn it, I kissed 'im, to bring 'im 'ere for your benefit!"

She jumped up, still glaring. "Pardonnez-moi for trying to save you from yourself!" She was breathing hard, her eyes narrowed to ice blue slits. "We should not be 'aving zis conversation in front of 'Arry. You are responsible for 'im, for God's sake! What must 'e think of you now?" There was silence. She gave a short squeal of anger, walked over to Wormttail, and kneed him hard in the groin, ignoring the fact that her skirt rode up to a scandalous level. "Zere, I am going to bed. 'Ave a marvelous time wis 'im, you ungrateful lout." She stomped out of the room, slamming the door despite the late hour…

Can anybody tell me why we're Springer bound?

Why we feel so up when we're kept down?

On a short leash behind a barbed-wire fence

With no chance of parole on a life sentence

__

She couldn't take any more speculating stares and fled the Great Hall, not stopping until she was outside in the light of the waxing moon, her breath coming in heaves. She sighed and leaned against the walls of a gazebo. Someone came up behind her, for she felt someone's presence just before a pair of arms slipped over her shoulders. For a moment she entertained a vain hope of it being Sirius, until... "Well well, looks like I've caught a fairy in my net after all."

She pulled away forcefully, putting a flowerbed between herself and Snape. "What do you want?" she asked harshly. "'Ere to tease me about my alleged affair wis Wormtail? Save your breas. I want nosing to do wis 'im and especially nosing to do wis you."

He stepped over the flower bed so she had to look up at him. "Now really, my dear, that isn't at all a nice thing to say to someone who came out here to check on your well being."

"Save it for someone 'oo gives a shit," she advised him coolly. "Get out of my way." When he didn't, she tried to leave herself.

"Oh, but I'm afraid you can't," he said, stepping around her. "You see, I've been an awfully patient man. I never so much as looked at you twice when you were here as a student. Now however... you are not a student..." He grabbed her and tried to kiss her. She gave a muffled shriek and bit him hard…

Sirius had watched Fleur leave the ball, obviously uncomfortable with the looks she was getting. He could understand that, certainly. Being part Veela wasn't too good for her reputation, even though she was, truthfully, every good thing one could say about a person. What a temper though! He chuckled softly, and then sobered as he saw Snape follow her out. Oh, that had to be bad, he decided and followed them.

Raised voices. Fleur's distinct accent, angry. He'd called her a whore? Sirius snarled and closed the distance between them, following the sound of her voice until he saw Snape, bending close to kiss her.

Rage filled him, white-hot and all-consuming. "Get your slimy Slytherin hands off my woman!" he snarled, striding forward to rip Snape off of her and slug him in the nose as hard as he could…

"What did you call me?"

Sirius blinked, startled. "What did I... oh." He flushed lightly, cheeks and ears slowly filling with crimson. "I called you baby," he confessed softly, "and sweetheart." He hadn't meant to, not really, but he wasn't sorry. "I'm not sorry. I mean, I am if it bothers you, but...I was just so worried. When I heard you yell at him... did he really call you a whore, chère?"

"You... you..." she shook her thoughts off, because they were too confusing, and at the moment, she didn't care to expand on them. Thoughts like that led to dangerous places in her experience. "'E... 'e might as well 'ave... 'e said I was not 'uman, and nosing anyone said would cause repercussions of any kind to 'im... I could not fight 'im, 'e is too strong..." She regarded him with a look of pure bewilderment. "You... called me... but... I'm only..." Seeing nothing was coming out right, she tried again. "I am not wearing ze perfume, I 'ave not consciously turned up ze charm, so... you shouldn't be... but you are..." She looked quite as bewildered as she ever had, her emotions swirling in her mind, clearly visible on her face each time a new one struck. "Why?"

"Why?" Sirius smiled down at her sheepishly. "Because you have hair like spun gold and skin like porcelain. Because you smell like flowers and newly-washed laundry. Because you're the smartest woman I've known since Harry's mum died. Because you love Harry like he was your brother. Because you love Remus the same way. Because every time I see you unhappy I want to kill the one who caused it, especially if it's me. Because you're beautiful, Fleur Delacour, inside and out, and because every time you smile at me I feel like I'm staring at the sun and I never, ever want to stop…"

My friends tell me I should run

They say they think she's got a gun

But that just only turns me on

Right on, right on, right on

Hey, hey, I wanna play on the team that you despise

Why fight? You've got me roped and tied

I hit your baited line

I'm so diggin' your scene

I said, you're playing with my head

I could split instead

I'm so diggin' your scene

__

"Well," said Fleur, "I can gazer zat zey deserve to be turned into dungbeetles. I commend your patience, 'Arry." She looked at Vernon, still on the floor, and he suddenly felt very very uncomfortable under her scrutiny. "I believe I should inform you zat ze next time you insult my 'usband, I will turn you into somesing unpleasant. I'm not an underage wizard." She smiled and slipped one arm around Sirius' waist, the other over Harry's shoulders. "Best all around if you keep quiet until we leave. I am told I 'ave an 'ideous temper…"

"Can you see if we 'ave forgotten anysing?" Fleur asked.

"Yeah... sure..."

Dudley squeezed himself in, barely fitting into the room, and she promptly shut the door on him, muttering something. The lock melted closed. "See 'ow your son likes it," she said shortly to a gaping Vernon. She returned to Harry and Sirius and hugged Harry, who was looking rather amused by the whole thing. Then she turned back to Vernon. "I 'ad a lovely day; unfortunately, zis was not it. Good bye, I can't say I want to ever see you again. I might do somesing worse." With a huff, she swirled around and followed Harry out, responding to his muttered question with "Oh, zey'll get 'im out eventually, I'm sure. Didn't you say zere were spiders?…"

Don't change, I love that you're deranged

You've got me trapped and caged

I'm so diggin' your scene

I said, you're playing with my head

I could split instead

I'm so diggin' your scene

__

"Remus?" Harry said quietly from where he was standing behind Sirius.

"Yeah, Harry?"

"Is that an engagement ring on her finger?"

"Yes, Harry, I believe it is."

"Oh." A moment later, "Remus?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Those are gonna be some bloody good-looking kids."

"Yes, Harry, they probably will be."

"Remus?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"Does this mean I need to learn French?"

Well, there you have it! A humorous look at Sunlight and Shadow, so I have fulfilled my debt for a S+F ficcy! Like I said before, if you're confused, go read it. See you later!

~Kuroi Koneko =^.^=

Oh, I almost forgot! I still need help coming up with a title for my original novel, so if you want to help then review and leave your email address so I can send you the first chapter. Then you can reply me with your idea! Whichever title is best will, of course, be given to the story, and whoever comes up with the title will be given special recognition. Okay, _now_ I'm done.


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